Hypocrite through Personality

So one of the things that I've become associated with over the years is this crazy outgoing personality of mine. People assume that because I'm comfortable talking to someone I've never met I enjoy it. I'm not sure, if enjoy is the right word, but the point is my comfort level talking to new people is not the same as people think it is. Perhaps it's simply the fact that when I talk to someone somewhere I have an objective. Like I'm fine giving directions, or asking for that matter. I'm perfectly content with teaching a class, but as soon as I'm no longer above or below a position of power I can't talk to people. Maybe I have an ego complex? Like more than the usuall "I think I'm awesome" bullshit I usually pull. But for some reason I hate making new friends. I can't stand it, in fact I despise it! But it's something I have to do, and I'm not looking forward to it at all.

The Name Game

Obama Furthers the Recession

Many people believe that our Nation's newest President has come riding into Washington watchfully perched atop his white steed. As the 44th President of the United States of America, Barrack Hussein Obama faces many challenges. His rallying cries for "Change" "Hope" and "Progress" resonate within us all. Oh yeah, he's black too. That's cool I guess.

As Obama entered office this past January 20th, he took upon himself the biggest responsibility our Nation has ever entrusted to a single person. We're letting a black guy run our country. That doesn't scare you? In Franklin Roosevelt's first 100 days as President, he pushed through 15 pieces of legislation. In his first trip outside of the country as President, Obama went to Canada. Honestly, what the hell Obama? Canada is like the ugly step child that north America keeps around for the government money it brings in. I mean you could've totally gone to see the troops, or talk to one of the many Diplomats whose country we currently occupying.

Even Sarah Palin looks at Russia every so often.

Currently, the rookie Leader of the Free World/Basketball Enthusiast, is promoting a "stimulus plan" that I view as complete hogwash (Yes, I've managed to use the term hogwash

in this). The President's web site states that, "a stimulus package will immediately inject $75 billion into the economy in the form of tax cuts and direct spending targeted to working families, seniors, homeowners and the unemployed" Bullshit! I'm calling you out Obama!

Our most powerful black guy isn't trying to help create jobs, or help the unemployed. Obama is single handedley ending hundreds of jobs, can anyone say, Goodbye hilarious bumper stickers?

If Obama continues down this road of bipartisanship and just legislation that benefit the people, our country will be the laughing stock of the globe. Other nations will scoff at us at the U.N. making snide remarks about how dumb Obama is that he can't find a door he had already walked through. What ever he does, the screen printing business is in for another boom.

Everyone Loves an Asian Girl! Right?

Wrong! When chosen at random, any given girl of Asian descent has a 50/50 chance at either being really, really, REALLY hot, or, pretty well, not hot. There is no middle ground for Asian girls, they are either hot, or not.

Please Note
This rule applies specifically to Asians, and girls.
Middle aged mothers and other nationalities are not included.

You're probably sitting in front of your computer looking at this and calling me names. For the record I am not a 'Male Chauvinistic Pig' nor am I a 'Sexist Asshole' and I am absolutely not an 'Agent of the Right Wing Agenda' (I didn't even think women knew these words. Get it it's irony, I say I'm not sexist but then say women are dumb...No? oh well just keep reading) Anyway, think about it! in high school was there ever an average looking Asian? Probably not, but there was the really hot one right? The girl that made your gym shorts just a little bit tighter? and then there were the not hot ones. Why does this happen? Is it an imbalance of testosterone? Or perhaps a misplaced school boy fetish?

Let's Examine The Facts!

Number One-Culture.

So I'll assume that we've all seen the classic James Bond film, You Only Live Twice. In my opinion this is the quintessential film when trying to understand why Asian female culture. take for example this quote from the aforementioned film

Tiger: Rule number one: never do anything yourself when someone else can do it for you.

Bond: And rule number two?
Tiger: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.
Bond: I just might retire to here

So bottom line, Japanese girls and therefore all females from Asia, are sluts. Now if you happen to be of Asian descent, don't get upset. These dick loving sluts are not you, they are your great grandmothers, grandmothers, they've set the path you are to follow.

Number Two- Darwinism
Survival of the Fittest

So, if we continue with the idea that your granny was a slut, then she was most likely getting laid at least seven times a week. However, your Granny could have been FUGLY. This is what I believe has led to the 'Hot or Not' mentality our society encroaches into our minds.
If your Granny was hot, she got knocked up, and had your mom. If your Grandfather was poor and couldn't afford a prostitute, he met your Grandmother and they had your mom(He settled for your ugly Granny)

In Conclusion!
(It's a proof, like in math)

1.1) There are hot girls and ugly girls.
1.2) In Asia, men are better than women.
1.3) Men are smart and want to sleep with hot girls but settle for ugg-o's
1.4) Therefore...hot women have more babies-(hotter babies)

2.1) Money makes you attractive.
2.2) Attractive people have attractive babies
2.3) The inverse of 2.1 and 2.2 are true
2.4) Rich pretty people make pretty babies/Poor ugly people make ugly babies.
2.5) Rich people don't sex up poor people- This leads to the disappearance of the average looks.

Therefore kids are either Hot or Ugly

The Technology Civil War

I'm a 18 year old white male. In the grand scheme of things I'm pretty lucky, the world is really geared towards me. I'm more likely to; get a better job, make better money, and to not be followed in a store when "window shopping". I am however a refugee.

I would like to place myself within the upper class of refugees. I've never been raped, plus! I live in a house with my family, not oppressive soldiers, thanks Third Amendment! I can also cast an independent vote, regardless of how blue my state is. I am not a refugee of a war nor of genocide. I am not a pawn of a coup d'etat. I do not cower in fear at the mention of, Stalin, Mussolini, or Hitler.

Steve Jobs is my oppressor and Bill Gates is my messiah.


Or, am I constantly put down by Bill Gates and welcomed into the pure white 'iArms' of Steve Jobs?

Some of you will scoff at my claim and pass by, mocking my utter confusion. Others will slowly wipe a tear, reliving their repressed memories of their time served in the technology war. Honor these men and women on Veteran's Day for they have wage wars against progress bars and constant user interface updates.

I was a General in the Technology War-I've since retired. I had my family's desktop, my own laptop (both PC). But I fought myself and had all of Steve Jobs love children, iPods, iPhones, iTunes. Holidays were a constant exchange of gift cards with those intolerable lowercase "i's" on the front. My mind was at a cross roads, and my soul had lost the map. With each new iPurchase would come new iApple stickers which i dare not stick as they would only read "iHypocrate". I hate vista but i like my red X to be in the upper right corner and not the upper left.

Apparently the inerface is getting better, but i'm still looking for my GI Bill to cover my iPhone bill.